Monday, May 19, 2014

The Labelers

We live in a society of labelers.
Once everything is labeled we feel more control, and people become nothing more than spices on the pantry shelf
Pepper, cumin, parsley, depressed
We have our personal label makers, and once we're labeled we're supposed to be fixed 
With medication
With support groups 
With diets 
These labels are permanent
They say you can change
But all you're really doing is covering one label with another
"Obsessive" over the top of "fat"
There are good labels and bad labels but they're all self fulfilling 
You tell a child he's a bad reader so he's never going to try to read 
You tell my sister she has anxiety and she has a panic attack
You tell that little girl that she's gonna grow up to be something special so she shoots for it
And beats herself up every time she fails because she knows she's disappointing everyone and their labeled expectations
But what happens when we overcome our labels?
We become outcasts, until someone can find a new label for us
Why do you think there are so many adjectives in the world?
Even doctors are glorified labelers, 
You are your Disease with a Capitol D 
It makes me wonder, what do people label me?

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Life as We Know It

Well. I'm going to serve a mission.
For the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
18 months.
In Gilbert Arizona.

Who knew??
Not me!
At least, 6 months ago, I didnt.
I'm going to be a missionary.
And I leave in 2 weeks!!
Oh what a ride it's been and oh what a ride it will be.
So the college life of miss maren lee will be on pause for a little while :)
I have new matters to attend to :)
Anything and Everything I knew about my life has been flipped upside down...
But here's to knowing all this change will be change for the better.




future sister lightheart

miss maren lee

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Do You Believe It?

Tonight my sister sent me a text.
It reads:
"I look in the mirror and all I see is a miserable, disgusting creature staring back at me.
Is that really all that I am?
It has to be.
All people see is the outside, the exterior, the outer layer, and they judge us accordingly.
No one takes time to peel back the layers and discover the blooming rose that wants to burst out of its shell but cannot without help. All they see is the bland layer on the outside that has nothing to do with the sparkling colors inside.
What I see in the mirror is a wall in front of my soul, and it tears me to pieces day by day. 
Nothing can change the way I look. 
I want to scream to them 
OPEN YOUR EYES, I AM BEAUTIFUL.
 But they stare blankly, as if I am air."

She told me "read this"
so I did.
and I asked her, "Anna, where did you find that?"
she told me "I wrote it."

I dont know that I have ever felt so heartbroken before.

Did I fail as a sister?
Did I fail by not telling my sister ever day "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL".

We are told daily we are beautiful.
But we are told daily that we're ugly.
Which do we choose to believe?

It is each woman's personal quest to find her self worth, but the truth is: It is not hidden.
Christ knows our worth.

I've spent the last hour wishing that I had spent less time worrying about myself and much more time concerned about others.
We need to be the Good Samaritans of self esteem.

I love my sister dearly. She is literally my best friend. (it didnt used to be that way, we used to fight like.. well, sisters.) She needs to know that she is beautiful. But will she believe it?

 

i love you bets.

miss maren lee <3

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Answers.

Today I was told that I have been an answer to a prayer. 
But not just one prayer.
A prayer repeatedly pleaded over the space of a lifetime.
In tears she told me she's been waiting her whole life for a friend like me.
She told me the wait was worth it.

It's a feeling like none other, knowing that The Lord has trusted you with such a magnitude of a calling as being an answer to a pleading heart of one of his children.

Another experience regarding revelation:
I was on my way to hang out with friends over the break. I had said a prayer before my departure that I would be able to make wise decisions. Half way down my hill, I had the most terrible feeling, so powerful that I pulled over to the side of the road and could not go any further. After many tears I decided that I instead needed to go home. On my way home, my distraught self for having disappointing my best friends, I was having difficulty making it back. I remember pleading "please, just take me home, I want to go home, please just take me home" repeatedly. As I neared my house, these words suddenly were sung from my mouth:
"Prone to wander, lord I feel it, prone to leave the god I love... Take my heart oh, take and seal it, seal it for my courts above"
Upon my arrival home I received an answer to my own prayer that I have been waiting quite some time for.
It helped me to understand my Book of Mormon professor's teaching that obedience is one of the qualifications of revelation. I obeyed the spirit's promptings to return home, and this my heart was opened.


Lord, lead my feet that I may forever be thy humble servant.

forever seeking answers

miss maren lee